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Little Moments in the Big Canyon

My son started preschool back in August and one of the many amazing aspects of his school is that it is located in the middle of a beautiful canyon in San Francisco. When he first started school I thought the 10-15 minute walk in and out of the canyon with a toddler was going to be tiresome. The months have passed and I have learned to love this time with Leo. There are days we are in a hurry and I get impatient because we will be late to school. Sometimes he falls and we have to stop until the tears subside.And he almost always stops at every moment to admire a bug or bird.  What I once thought would be a grueling commute has turned into something I cherish and look forward to. For about 10-15 minutes of my day I get to hold hands with my son and we have each others undivided attention (aside from the critters along the way and nervous skunks 😷). It is amazing to me that our perception can change our outlook on life. I once thought a a quick and fast preschool drop-off would b
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Recent posts

From running shoes to IV poles

In one week I went from finishing the New York City Marathon to inpatient status on IV medications. It was pretty much the opposite of a couch to 5k plan and more like the 26.2 miles to hospital bed plan. For me there are several different physical and emotional aspects that I have to process before accepting a hospitalization. When I catch a cold it always causes me to feel fear because I don't know how this cold will effect my lungs - will I get over it, will I need oral antibiotics or IV antibiotics?  Once the cold sets in and I feel the side effects of cystic fibrosis I start to feel the wrath of how terrible this disease can be - a cough that rattles my bones, the never ending mucus that clogs my airways, breathlessness, little sleep and aching lungs. Then comes the anxiety - the anxiety kicks in because the thoughts that this could be my new normal, that my lung function will never go back up and the thought that this breathless feeling could become permanen
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Time Stamp

Time is a constant in everyones lives and continues to move forward whether we like it or not. Our own personal perception of time can change based on events going on in our life. Time seems to move slowly for someone who is in the hospital and eager to go home yet time can seem like it is moving forward too quickly when we are enjoying ourselves and in the moment. Time is precious. My wonderful son will be 2 and I can't hold onto time fast enough. I often scroll through my pictures and laugh at the wonderful moments that I have had with my family. Sometimes tears fall because these moments are treasured and my heart is full of love and gratefulness. The slow moving days filled with lack of sleep and the struggles of a colicky baby seem to fade. Our pictures and memories spark emotions so raw and true. Time continues to charge on despite our yearning to press pause. The other day a memory on my Facebook popped up in my notifications. It was a picture
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Life's a marathon!

Drawing by my beautiful cousin Megan Jensen. A Tlingit's lungs :) It has been hard finding time to sit down and write about life with a one-and-a-half-year-old running around. I have had so much fun watching little Leo grow up. I often find myself thinking about how truly lucky I am to have a child and how wonderful it is to be a mother. I never knew if having children would be in my future but Leo has blessed our lives tremendously. As always, running was a big part of my summer! I submitted a video to an online contest through the Boomer Esiason Foundation that explained why I exercise and was shocked when I found out that I had won! There were many amazing and very inspiring videos that were submitted. Adam and I traveled to New York City to run in the 5th Annual Run to Breathe Race . It was at this same race 5 years ago that Adam proposed to me in 2011. In July we were able to go back to NYC and celebrate all the wonderful happenings in our lives over the
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One Year Around the Sun

My last post was in October 2014 and at that point in my life I was waiting for our precious baby to be born. Our lives were going to change in one moment and we were anxiously awaiting for that time to come. Little did we know that the moment we were waiting for would start with me waking Adam up early Monday morning (March 16, 2015) because I had either wet the bed two times or my water had broken. Eight hours later our lives changed forever as we transitioned into the wonderful world of parenthood. Our beautiful baby boy, Leo Jordan Walker, was born on March 16, 2015. The moment I laid eyes on Leo my body immediately filled with a love and happiness that took over my mind, heart and soul. He is our miracle. If I ever have a moment of feeling down and out, it takes one second to come to reality and realize that I am beyond blessed. I have heard Adam say, "Having a baby is the biggest job that we will ever have in our lives and it doesn't even come with an inst
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Pickles, Cheese & Mustard

When I was younger I loved pickles and cheese, and in high school those strange food cravings raised some occasional pregnancy suspicions. I still crave pickles and cheese with mustard but at this point in my life the craving now signifies big life changes and I am beyond excited for them! I am happy to announce that my husband, Adam, and I are expecting our first human child (Lola and Oscar are our dog children)! This wonderful news is truly a miracle because we were told that I was infertile and may have to seek help from fertility specialists. Having Cystic Fibrosis makes the process difficult and undergoing intense chemotherapy and radiation treatments in my past created the high possibility of infertility for me.  I pray and hope for strength and health during my pregnancy. I pray that my lungs are stable and strong through these 9 months. There are several antibiotics and medications that I need but I can't take because they may be harmful to the fetus. I am a h
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