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Little Moments in the Big Canyon

My son started preschool back in August and one of the many amazing aspects of his school is that it is located in the middle of a beautiful canyon in San Francisco. When he first started school I thought the 10-15 minute walk in and out of the canyon with a toddler was going to be tiresome. The months have passed and I have learned to love this time with Leo. There are days we are in a hurry and I get impatient because we will be late to school. Sometimes he falls and we have to stop until the tears subside.And he almost always stops at every moment to admire a bug or bird. 




What I once thought would be a grueling commute has turned into something I cherish and look forward to. For about 10-15 minutes of my day I get to hold hands with my son and we have each others undivided attention (aside from the critters along the way and nervous skunks 😷). It is amazing to me that our perception can change our outlook on life. I once thought a a quick and fast preschool drop-off would be easier and less time consuming. In the midst of our daily routine I think we tend to focus on the most efficient, quickest and easiest path in life because our time is precious and we don't have enough minutes in the day to get things done. I have come to love this special time with Leo and I know I will someday look back and appreciate that I was able to hold his little hand in mine and talk about nature and things that interest him. 



The monotony of my days are typically filled with treatments and medications. Sometimes Leo gently reminds me to "Do medicine, Mom!" or asks me "You take your pills, Mom?" which makes me pause and laugh because a toddler is reminding an adult about priorities.  My son is used to doctors offices, hospital stays (which he loves because of room service and the nurses give him an endless supply of popsicles), doctors, nebulizer treatments, vibrating vests, mommy giving herself shots and he even mimics my cough. This is Leo's "normal" and someday he will understand that our "normal" is not like everyone else. For now his understanding of our world is okay because his love and outlook on life is so pure and innocent, and a welcomed reminder of how precious life is.  




Our walk in the canyon has become this magical time where we pass by fairy trees and pretend alligators are chasing us and when time is tight we start our walk with Leo equipping us with superpowers so we can run fast. He may not know why running is important for his mom but he does know that superpowers are needed in our lives. I think children believe in a magic that adults lose sight of and their perception of the world is not as concrete. I have to remind myself that he is only little once and this time in his life will pass quickly. Time and life on this earth is fleeting - and I will hold on to the magic of these memories forever.  


'You and Me' by Allie High


At Leo's preschool we were tasked to write an emergency letter to our children in case something happened and we were not able to get to the canyon in an appropriate time frame to get them. This letter ended up being a painful process for me because you don't ever want to imagine something bad happening and not being able to be with your child to protect them. My heart broke as I wrote this letter and I prayed that it would never need to be opened, but it reminded me that my message needed to be one of positivity and love. 



When life is hard please take a moment to stop, feel your heartbeat, breathe in deep and give thought to the moment that you are in. My son, a toddler, has taught me to not lose sight of magic, love and hope. Leo is a miracle in my and Adam's lives and when times are trying he always seems to bring light and love into our hearts. Hard times are inevitable and time is not permanent but our stories are unique and timeless. Our daily moments create personal and historical memoirs that are tablets written from heart, emotion, courage and inspiration - each story is meaningful and impactful. Embrace the little moments in each day and appreciate how all of these "small" moments make such a huge impact in our lives. 

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